The Day I Died
As the oxygen left my brain, I thought to myself, “I am going to die right here, in this bed: naked, loaded and shamed.” The room closed in on me, I left my body… I was dead.
This is where my life began. This story is a celebration of the most important day of my life; The Day I Died, and I'd love to share this story with you. My hope is that it might inspire you to claim triumph and victory in ALL your experiences! No weapon formed against you can or will ever prosper! Drugs, mixed with a touch of mental illness in me, combined with his total lunacy, fueled the physical abuse which had recently shown signs of becoming more serious. I knew what I needed to do. I also knew it wouldn’t be easy, or safe.
I informed him I wanted to leave the relationship. He responded, “I’ll kill you first.” My reply… “So be it.”
For a brief moment, in the dark silence that precedes a violent attack, everything slowed to almost still. He leaned over the bed and reached out to grab me. Never breaking eye contact, he snatched me up to a standing position. With superhuman strength, and my hair wrapped around his fist, my 234 lb. body was tossed about like a rag doll. Landing on the waterbed, he on top of me, hands clenched around my throat, I knew it was over. Of all the messes I had made, this would be my greatest… and the last. I wasn’t getting out of this. He had won.
“What about my child? My innocent 3-year-old.”
A voice said, “I have her, she is mine.”
“What about all the wrong I’ve done?”
"None of that matters. You are here with me.”
A quietness settled over as a deep peace awakened in my spirit.
I stopped fighting. There was no use and no need... Just surrender. The communication was complete, the message clear. I stood in the presence of my savior holding the dirty remnants of my stained life as an offering. He was overjoyed at the precious treasure and accepted.
I finally understood the love He has for me: His own, His child. It was overwhelming, I couldn’t take it in.
God’s voice said, “My love is infinite. This beauty and love that I’ve shown you with your finite mind, does not come close to what I have created and take pleasure in. I am pleased with my work, and I love him just as much. (The guy whose hands were around my neck) I created him too. Go back, forgive, and learn to love as I love you. You are the body of Christ; I live and breathe through you.”
For the first time, I found the love I had sought in every drug, man, and troublesome act. I then understood, I had been looking in the wrong places.
I came back to my body, his hands still around my neck. A voice told me to say the name of Jesus, I obeyed. He was thrown 5 feet off of me to a standing position. He lunged back onto the bed, eyes rolled back showing only the whites. Clearly, he was not in his body as I returned to mine. I could see his blows coming for my face as he tried to hit me. I was encased in a field of protection; he could not make contact with my body. I screamed and the owner of the house came into the room interrupting our violent trance. In a panicked state of complete insanity, on bended knee, the young man begged, “Please marry me.” He had lost his mind, and luckily... I had finally found mine. Had it not been for my visit to the heavens, I probably would have been persuaded to stay. It did not work… this time. I left everything behind as I managed to find my keys but not my shoes.
I ran out of that house to my car. It was raining, heavily pouring down that night. The ground was icy under my bare feet. I was drenched by the time I traveled eternity: the 30 feet from front door to car door. Terrified, I drove the flooded streets for hours as the rain turned to hail.
Paranoia set in. Had he fallowed? Was he nearby watching me?
Just before dawn, I gathered enough courage to pull over, get out of my car, and call a friend. As I waited, thunder and lightning crackled and flashed as the wind whipped around and rocked the car. The storm was somehow comforting.
In the morning, sun rays peeked from behind billowy clouds, drying spots and leaving puddles. The air was chilled and fresh. The sky was painted pink and blue. Things were different: clean, bright, renewed…
and so was I. My first day sober was that very day, January 14, 1995. I have never been the same. Now that’s what I call a surrender. Maybe you’ve not experienced such dramatic circumstances, or maybe you have. Either way, we've all experienced some pain, betrayal or violation of our hearts. My question to you is... What did you do with it? Are you still wounded, victimized, and trapped in patterns that seem out of your control? Or have you used it to step into a new way of being: healed, powerful, and bold? Have you let go of the victim and turned your tragedy into triumph? I have, and I’ve stopped the pattern of creating pain for myself. No matter how big or small your struggle is, my Mindset Mastery Program can help you find the power in all of your experiences. It does not matter whether you are having painful relationships, financial trials, or just can’t seem to realize a goal. All of these problems are different on the surface, but the core and the solution are always the same. I'd like to be part of that solution. CLICK HERE to schedule a consultation. Enter the coupon code, YES at checkout to waive the fee. A little time with me can change a lot. Tomorrow becomes yesterday pretty quickly. Let's do this now! Here is what one of my clients, Deb Ansuini, Owner of The Body Philosophy Spa in Long Beach, has to say about her experience with My Mindset Mastery Programs. …
My experience with Dawnmarie Presley’s Mindset Mastery Coaching programs has been so amazing. I'm different; happy, calm, and rising to levels in my career I never thought I would get to. Everything is changing for the better! And I just keep climbing higher!
Give her a try, she’s so worth it!
Remember... What You Want, Wants you. Let's Me Help It Find You!
Much Love and Light, Dawnmarie Presley, C. Ht. MIndset Coach 818 217 6176 Dawnmarie@DawnmariePresley.com dawnmariepresley.com
